Ross’ Turkey Sandwich | “Friends”

It’s not Thanksgiving, and we’re pretty far from November, but after almost two whole months, As Eaten On TV is back and we have much to discuss. We never never stopped cooking, we just couldn’t share… until now. So to give thanks for our return, we turn to a Thanksgiving favorite from the 90’s, The Geller Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich, complete with the “Moist Maker” (I called it the Geller sandwich, by the way, because though it was popularized by Ross’ insane infatuation with it, it was Monica’s creation. But for simplicity’s sake, we’ll call it Ross’ from now on, because as any avid Friends watcher knows, it’s HIS).

If you are unfamiliar with this sandwich offhand, I imagine one of four things are true about you:

– You didn’t watch “Friends” at all when it aired and had no friends who watched “Friends”
– You didn’t live in the United States prior to 2000
– You were born in the 1990’s
– You don’t watch TV and are here by accident

Falling into any of these categories is alright, because I’m about to explain it all. Here’s the scene:

Sadly, this was the beginning of the end for Ross Geller. No, he doesn’t die. His character slowly drifts away into madness, becoming a caricature of what he once was.

If this were real life, he'd be in the loony bin by season 8.

If this were real life, he’d be in the loony bin by season 8.

But he wasn’t wrong about the Moist Maker. I imagine that adding stuffing to the sandwich, while delicious, is not likely to help in the moisture department. Leftover cranberry sauce would not be enough. There’s just no culinary crime like a dry turkey sandwich (Simpsons did it!):

"Turkey's a little dry?? DAMN YOU"

“Turkey’s a little dry?? DAMN YOU”

Conceptually, I avoided adding anything that would not be on the table for Thanksgiving. This is about using leftovers, after all. So I did not add mustard, fresh vegetables or anything else. I see leftover cranberry sauce, because everyone buys it for the ONE PERSON who actually eats it and there’s no way that person would eat it all (that’s why it comes in very small cans, because after a while, even the Ocean Spray people are going to start to feel bad about the sheer volume of wasted cranberry sauce).

Stuffing and gravy are included because I feel they are always the most popular part of the meal (at least, this is so in the Midwest, where I grew up, where poultry-flavored carbs and gravy beat the Depression). Mashed potatoes are not included because not everyone who likes the mashed potatoes covers them in gravy. I don’t know why. But they exist.

Things like macaroni and cheese, various vegetable dishes and fruit are also not included because there is never any leftover mac & cheese, the vegetables are made for specific  people who ask for them and usually don’t make it past the second football game and nobody really wants fruit on Thanksgiving unless its baked into a pie.

I also didn’t put the sandwich on a roll because Ross specifically mentions that there are three slices of bread. I used a fresh-baked loaf of white bread and this is where your first step should be. Get that bread soaking in the gravy immediately. The Moist Maker is the centerpiece of the sandwich and it’s the only reason I am even writing this post.

The longer the Moist Maker soaks, the more moist your sandwich will be when you go to eat it.

photo (2)

I used a pie tin.

Ingredients:

– 3 Slices of White Bread
– 1/2 c Leftover Gravy
– Leftover Stuffing
– Leftover Turkey
– Unopened Can of Cranberry Sauce

Open the disused can of cranberry sauce (check the expiration date) and spread to two slices of bread. Throw the rest away, don’t even pretend you might use it for something else (and unless you’re reading this on November 20th, no, it will not make it ’til actual Thanksgiving).The rest is fairly obvious. If you wanted to make this without actually cooking a bird and stuffing it, you could just go get some Stove Top and sliced turkey from a deli. On the flipside, if you have that much turkey left over after a meal, you can actually bring your cooked bird to a butcher, deli or grocery store and they will slice it up for you, usually without charge.

For a truly leftover experience, put the finished sandwich in the fridge (with a note) for a few hours and really test the ability of the Moist Maker to revive the sandwich.

photo

I do have to say that Donald was right in that it’s a large sandwich, a lot of food. I would never have dreamed of throwing it away, though. Saving it to eat later is what this sandwich is all about.

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7 thoughts on “Ross’ Turkey Sandwich | “Friends”

  1. […] Ross’ Turkey Sandwich | “Friends” | – Excellent YouTube usage: […]

  2. c Jacquet says:

    Its only the Best sandwich known to Man (I love cranberry sauce)

  3. Michael says:

    I am AMAZED at the fact the sandwich itself has such a large fan base, much like the show itself of course. Can’t wait to try this sandwich.

  4. […] you’ve got these basics down, you can consider adding in some extras. Gothamist and As Eaten On TV suggest mixing in leftover cranberry sauce, while BuzzFeed recommends adding mashed […]

  5. […] you’ve got these basics down, you can consider adding in some extras. Gothamist and As Eaten On TV suggest mixing in leftover cranberry sauce, while BuzzFeed recommends adding mashed […]

  6. […] you’ve got these basics down, you can consider adding in some extras. Gothamist and As Eaten On TV suggest mixing in leftover cranberry sauce, while BuzzFeed recommends adding mashed […]

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