by Blake Stilwell
I have never been more excited about carbohydrates as I am at this moment. While watching my favorite new show of the 2013 Fall season, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I came across the Sloppy Jessica, something I had never before heard of but completely support.
This bit of sandwich glory appeared after Sergeant Jeffords (Terry Crews), Detective Santiago (Melissa Fumero), and office secretary Gina Linetti (Chelsea Peretti), start a horrible crash diet – whose lunches include a single carrot and a snack of a razor-thin slice of cantaloupe – and Gina caves immediately. As the other two sit down to lunch, Gina brings in the Sloppy Jessica, described as “mac-and-cheese-chili pizza on a bun.”
The important thing for this younger sister of the Sloppy Joe is to determine how to best interpret “mac-and-cheese-chili pizza on a bun.” Should we make a whole pizza and stuff it onto a bun? Or make a pizza of the bun and cover it with Mac n’ Cheese and then Chili? Or just Chili Mac? The possibilities are endless! But, based on how the sandwich itself looks onscreen (I know it’s just a sitcom, but whatever) it looks like the Mozzarella is on the bottom and the rest of the bun is filled with delicious chili and Mac n’ Cheese. So it’s a sandwich in three parts! Being from Southern Ohio, I have a distinct kind of Chili preference, so I don’t often make Chili from scratch (I do have a recipe, but that’s a secret), but there are a number of awesome Chili recipes out there. While they wouldn’t be using Cincinnati Chili in Brooklyn (that’s found in Manhattan), I used it here because I want this to be as awesome as possible.
I think it would be better to make the two separately and mix them, as I often find chili mac to be really dry and half the fun of the two dishes when cooked separately. Feel free to make Chili Mac from another recipe if that’s your preference!
• Kraft Cheese and Macaroni
• Mozzarella Cheese
• Hoagie Buns
Preheat oven to 350°F. Open the bun and remove some of the interior. Then add a layer of mozzarella cheese thick enough to create a thick melted layer.
Cook Kraft Macaroni and Cheese as per instructions on the box (don’t mess with a classic).
Prepare chili as instructed by your personal tastes and/or laboriously developed chili recipe)
Toast sub roll and melt the cheese into the bun
Mix Chili and Mac n’ Cheese (if necessary)
Add Chili & Mac Mixture to Melted Cheese Bun
Enjoy for Hours, Lament for Days