Tag Archives: Flour

Sausage and Waffle and Fried Chicken Breakfast Lasagna | “The Boondocks”

by Blake Stilwell

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I’ve always come short of writing direct Thanksgiving recipes. As Eaten has a recipe for a nice holiday dessert. We have a recipe to tell you what to do with Thanksgiving leftovers. I’m not one to tell you what to do with your Thanksgiving food, no matter how bad it might be. Today we have a Thanksgiving-related post, not in terms of the kind of food or celebration of the holiday, but today we celebrate what comes after. This post is a celebration of The ‘Itis.

Itis: /ī-təs/ n. – The general feeling of lethargy and well-being experienced after eating a large, usually high calorie meal. This phenomena is particularly triggered by foods high in carbohydrates and red meat.

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In season 1, episode 10 of the critically acclaimed and often controversial animated series the Boondocks, Robert “Granddad” Freeman (John Witherspoon) cooks up Huey’s (Regina King) broccoli with pork, to which Huey says “vegetables cooked with pork counts as pork!” The meal he makes for entrepreneur Ed Wuncler (Ed Asner) and a local couple, the Dubois, inspires the creation of The Itis, a restaurant with beds instead of tables and a menu that, according to Huey, “will cause death.”

The signature menu item is the “Luther,” a one-pound burger, soaked in butter and cheese, served with five strips of bacon on a grilled Krispy Kreme doughnut.

So why opt to make the breakfast lasagna, instead of the Luther, featured so heavily in the episode? The Luther is pretty common by now, you can even order one for Sunday brunch at Churchkey in Washington, DC. Also, Krispy Kremes are hard to come by in Upstate Central New York. Also, if you watch the rest of the episode, you know the terrible effects the Luther can have on a community, and I wouldn’t want to inflict something like that on you, dear reader. I also promised to make a real dish this time, instead of another sandwich.

Also, the irony of writing a blog post, creating a recipe from an episode of a show that is not only a scathing indictment of the movie Soul Food, but also of soul food itself, is not lost on me.

Ingredients:

This is a six-part miniseries. You’ll need waffles instead of lasagna noodles, made for multiple layers, as well as layers of eggs, a sausage layer, a fried chicken layer, and enough sausage gravy and cheese for other layers.

Maple Syrup
Pepper Bacon
Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Pepper to Taste

Sausage Layer:
4 fresh sausage links
maple syrup

Fried Chicken Layer:
6-8 boneless fried chicken thighs
large bottle of vegetable, peanut, or canola oil
4 cups flour
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp salt

Sausage Gravy:
3 tbsp butter
2 fresh sausage links, casings removed
1/4 c flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 1/2 cups milk
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Waffle Layer(s):
You could always buy Eggos, which is waffle blasphemy, or make an instant waffle mix, which is less horrifying.

1 3/4 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cups milk
2 eggs
1/2 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla

Scrambled Egg Layer:
6 Eggs
3/4 c Ricotta Cheese
1/2 lb Shredded Cheddar
Salt/Pepper

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  1. For the scrambled eggs, whisk eggs and salt together in a large bowl. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When foam subsides, add eggs and stir until eggs are almost cooked but still runny in parts, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in ricotta until incorporated but clumps of cheese are still visible.
  2. To make fried chicken, mix the dry ingredients with the flour, then place seasoned flour in a paper bag. Add 4 to 5 pieces of chicken to the bag and shake, coating thoroughly in seasoned flour. Fill a large skillet 3/4 full with good, clean oil. (I used canola, but granddad probably used peanut or vegetable). Heat the oil to 325° F and put chicken one at a time into the oil. Don’t let the chicken pieces touch. Cook until juices start to flow out of the chicken. Turn with tongs, cook another five minutes. Place chicken onto paper towel-lined plate. When in doubt, use a meat thermometer. Chicken should be cooked to 158°.
  3. To cook the sausage gravy, heat butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat until foaming. Add sausage and cook, breaking it up into smaller pieces with a wooden spoon, until the meat starts to brown, about 5 minutes. Reduce heat to medium. Add flour, salt, pepper, and cayenne. Cook, stirring frequently, for 1 minute. Gradually stir in milk, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Bring to a simmer, stirring constantly, until the mixture has thickened slightly, about 1 minute more. Remove from heat.
  4. To cook the sausage, fry the sausages until the fat and juices start to fill the pan. Once there’s a layer of  fat in the pan, add a tablespoon of maple syrup to each link and cook thoroughly. Slice the sausage at an angle.
  5. For the waffles, separate the yolks and the whites. Set the whites aside and mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Make a crater in the middle and mix the wet ingredients (except the egg whites) there. Then mix the whole batter.Whip the egg whites until stiff, then fold the whites into the batter bowl. Cook in a waffle iron.
  6. Fry bacon until crispy, keep in long strips and dry on a paper towel.
  7. To assemble lasagna, butter a 8×8-inch casserole dish. Place waffles side by side in the bottom of the dish. Spread 1/4 cup of maple syrup evenly over the waffles. Top with half the scrambled eggs. Layer sausage slices on top of the eggs. Sprinkle half the cheddar evenly over the eggs. Top with half the sausage gravy. Repeat these layers once more. Finish by arranging bacon strips in an even layer on top. Add extra pepper, liberally at any level, because black pepper is awesome.

Bake at 400°F for 15 minutes. Lasagna can be assembled the day before, covered, and refrigerated until ready to serve. Remove lasagna from oven and let sit for 30 minutes before slicing and serving.

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You really can’t (shouldn’t) eat too much of this at any one time and the resulting Itis is immediate, especially when eaten in the morning.

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Beef and Bacon Pie with Onions In Gravy | “Game of Thrones”

by Blake Stilwell of (according to numerous online Game of Thrones-based personality tests) House Baratheon.

"Our Favorite Food"

“Ours is Our Favorite Food”

I actually believe if House Stilwell had a place in Westeros, our sigil would likely be a fat bear, wearing a bib and drinking  two fingers of scotch. I also think this is probably Robert Baratheon’s personal sigil, one he just never talked about.  But this isn’t about me, this is a celebration!

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This month, HBO dropped the latest season of Game of Thrones on Blu-Ray, a gift for which I have already pre-ordered for my mother (it was her Christmas gift. Don’t judge me. I got schmaltzy gifts for her for the past five years and I think she actually liked this much better). Of course I didn’t wait for this to watch. Who possibly could? To celebrate this momentous occasion (and maybe have it available for this year’s premiere of Season Four), As Eaten brings you something as epic as the Game of Thrones theme song: a hearty dish from the North!

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Not that far North.

No, not Ygritte. It’s a Beef and Bacon Pie, from the lands around Winterfell! The recipe comes from A Feast of Ice and Fire: the Official Game of Thrones Cookbook by Chelsea Monroe-Cassel and Sariann Lehrer, based on their blog Inn At The Crossroads. This book is more than a recipe book. Its an exhaustively-researched history of food and medieval cookery. It’s a fascinating mix of narrative and historical context. I highly recommend this. It’s so much more than a cookbook. And if you’re throwing a Game of Thrones-themed party, you will not find a better companion!

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Well.. maybe one better companion…

The North of Westeros is a vast, cold place. As such, the food tends to toward what we in the US call “comfort food.” They are heavy, hearty plates, full of meats, gravies, breads, and such. This recipe is no different. The difference is where the comfort food in the US can be bland at times, save the use of salt and pepper, the use of fruits and spices in this  meat mixture brings a unique, exotic flavor.

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It’ll taste better than you think it will.

But you’ll need to start with the medieval pastry dough. There is a special recipe, and the first ingredient should be an indicator of the uniqueness of flavors I’m talking about. If it sounds weird that the North of Westeros uses Saffron in its baking doughs, there is a very interesting explanation, based in both the lore of the Game of Thrones universe as well as Medieval History, thoroughly researched and presented to the reader. It’s really a good read. And it’s delicious.

Pinch of Saffron
1/2 C Water
1/2 C Unsalted Butter
3 C Flour 2 Egg Yolks, beaten

Dissolve the saffron in the water. Rub the butter into the flour with your fingers until there are only crumb-sized pieces. Add the egg yolks and saffron water until the mixture is sticky. To pre-bake a shell, line a pan with thin-rolled dough.use a fork to poke holes all over the bottom of the pastry shells. Bake for 10 minutes at 350° F.

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Beef and Bacon Pie

The book offers two recipes, a modern version and a medieval version. The recipe I used from this book is more of the medieval sort, which I think more appropriate, given the setting of the show and books.

1/2 c thick-cut bacon, diced
1 1/2 lbs stew beef, diced
1/2 tsp black pepper 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c red wine vinegar
1/3 c prunes
1/3 c raisins
1/3 c dates pitted and chopped
1 c beef broth
2-3 tbsp flour
1 egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 375° F.  Cook the bacon in a saucepan until the fat runs from it, then drain off the fat. To the bacon pan, add the beef, spices, vinegar, and fruits. Add enough broth to wet the mixture until its runny. Mix in the flour and cook until the juices form a gravy. Cool the mixture. Line a 9-inch pie pan with a pastry dough and fill it with the meat mixture.

The book calls for a pastry lid. But the book has a great photo of a pie with a bacon lattice lid, so we decided to go with this because it was so much more epic. We used the remaining chewy bacon that wasn’t quite crispy to form the lattice so it would crips in the oven. The fruit will melt as the pie bakes and form a sweet, salty, savory mix of flavors that is absolutely fantastic.

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Onions in Gravy

10 oz boiler or pearl onions
1 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 sprig of freshly chopped savory herb, such as rosemary or thyme
1/3 c apple cider
1 tbsp flour
3 c beef stock
Splash of Brandy

Clean and peel the onions. Quarter seven of them and put the rest aside. In a deep frying pan, add the honey, herbs, and quartered onions.make sure the onions get covered with the honey-butter mixture, cook for 8 minutes, browning the onions. Add the cider to the pan in three distinct splashes. let the cider heat between splashes. Sprinkle flour into the pan and form a gravy. Add the stock and the rest of the onions and bring to a simmer. Cook for 5 minutes and reduce until it has a thicker, more gravy-like consistency. Add salt and pepper to taste. We garnished with rosemary because it looked nice and we had some left over.

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This one-two punch combination of sweet and savory is a filling, hearty meal fit for you or any Stark. Any Stark that may still be alive, that is.

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Taco’s Truck’s Chicken Wings | “The League”

by Blake Stilwell

The regular NFL season is almost over, and most fantasy leagues now have their champion. For the uninitiated, fantasy football is a game where a group of people can gather (a league) and choose different real-life football players (to form teams) whose scores are based on specific stats the player acquires as he plays in a real NFL football game each week. Fantasy football season usually lasts right until the end of the regular NFL season, sometimes with a prize for the league winner.  This causes bizarre reactions from lifelong fans, who suddenly start praying for unusual and/or very specific situations to occur during games and start cheering for teams with which they formerly had no feelings about whatsoever.

Denver Broncos v Jacksonville Jaguars

“Colin Kaepernick, I love you!”

The fantasy league on FXX’s “The League” would have a champion by now as well. Their 8-deep fantasy football league and how they allow it to affect their everyday lives is what the show is all about. Actually, getting overcome by NFL football season and becoming obsessed with Sundays and our fantasy leagues is what being an American is all about. The rise of fantasy football is the best thing to happen in football since Drew Brees led the Saints to a Super Bowl after Hurricane Katrina. The League is the best thing to happen to football since fantasy football.

Thank You.

Thank You.

While their season is over, the NFL football is far from finished. There are still a few rounds of playoffs and, of course, the Super Bowl to come. If your team is still in the game, you probably have a few parties (at least one?)  left to host. What would a football playoff party be without chicken wings?

There is always Tapenade.

There is always Tapenade.

This season on the show, Taco (Jonathan Lajoie), the underachieving stoner brother of Kevin MacArthur (Stephen Rannazzisi), started a food truck called Taco’s Truck, which served American food. Kevin, the good guy he is, probably ate there to support his brother but ended up with more than he (and his wife Jenny) bargained for, (as sitcom characters usually do).

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So the recipe I decided to use for these delicious wings would be more spicy than average, but I wanted them to have an air of authenticity to them, because we at As Eaten don’t want to lead anyone astray, or toward darkness, unpopularity, or Steelers fandom. This recipe comes from a postcard I recently picked up while driving through Buffalo.

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With one caveat: I don’t like bleu cheese. I’m a fan of ranch dressing with my wings, but as always, it’s okay to be a traditionalist. I also had to settle for actual chicken wings to make this recipe, considering the entire grocery store was completely sold out Buffalo Wings pieces. But that’s okay, any chicken will do. I have to say I was a little disappointed to find out the magic secret to the deliciousness of Buffalo wing sauce.

Hardly Magical.

Hardly Magical.

So, yeah, there’s not much to the famous buffalo wings except the fact that butter is an awesomely delicious secret ingredient… but it’s really an easy way to make anything delicious (pro tip) when you cram a stick of butter into it. The novelty is only that Buffalo thought of it first. Not to take anything away from Buffalo, of course.

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That’s the Bills’ job.

My NFL team did make the playoff this year and I fully intend on using this recipe again, because despite not being impressed at WHY its delicious, the fact remains that it really is delicious. I think the only changes I would make to the recipe is to lightly bread the wing pieces before frying.

Always serve with celery, sometimes carrots and bleu cheese or ranch dressing. And wash your hands after eating.

I JUST DON'T LIKE BLEU CHEESE, OK?

I JUST DON’T LIKE BLEU CHEESE, OK?

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Triple-Fried Monte Cristo Sandwich | “Community”

By Blake Stilwell

Let me preface this post by saying I will not be able to be as clever or get as many pop culture references into it as the writers of this show could. As Eaten is a shadow what this show can do.

Community on NBC: Watch it. Please?

Community on NBC: Watch it. Please?

It’s holiday break, but school will soon be back in (for some of you) and I was thinking that we could slip in one last fattening holiday treat. If I were going to create the signature dish from Community, I know it would have to be Abed’s Buttered Noodles, as they’re mentioned in many an episode… but that’s not very difficult.

Ta-Da.

Ta-Da.

The dish of choice comes from the tag of Community’s “Alternative History of the German Invasion,” episode four of season four, and is an offering at Shirley’s Sandwiches in the cafeteria.

This episode is packed with more references than I could ever hope to fit in an As Eaten post: Hogan’s Heroes, Die Hard, Die Hard III, Actual World History, Community itself, and another appearance of Michael Haggins’ Daybreak, a running gag through out the series (I love running gags).

This sandwich is a lot more filling (and heavy) than most of what we’ve eaten from TV thus far. And if you’re at risk of coronary issues, it’s probably one to be avoided, but if you’re not, prepare your taste buds for the fried confection/lunch that even the Great New York State Fair didn’t offer: a Triple-Fried Monte Cristo Sandwich.


The Fried Chicken Skin Wrap also might be worth an As Eaten Entry.

Even though you never actually see the Monte Cristo, just the fact that it’s offered at a Community College Cafeteria Sandwich Shop was intriguing to me. Could this possibly be made in short order? Would it be something that any student could pay for? Is this something any one wants to eat?

The Monte Cristo itself is a twist on the French croque monsieur, a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with a bechamel sauce, which is just a white sauce made with butter, flour and milk (if you try this separately, add pepper. Trust me.) Butthis goes beyond just a grilled ham and cheese. We upgrade the cheese, the meats, and fry it in a egg batter, and served with powdered sugar and jam. It’s the love child of French Toast and Grilled Cheese. It’s the meal for when you miss breakfast, but are too early for lunch… and also aren’t at brunch.

Ingredients
1 quart oil for frying, or as needed
2/3 cup water
1 egg
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 slices white bread
4 slices gruyere cheese (because swiss is for losers)
4 slices turkey
4 slices ham
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar for dusting

Directions

  1. Heat oil in a deep-fryer or large pan to 365 degrees. I don’t have a deep fryer, but when I’m at home, I use a wok. Sue me, it’s big and it works. While oil is heating, make the batter. Some fry cooks covet a single batter, with egg and water mixed in with your dry ingredients. I usually opt for a separate wet/dry batter. Here, there is no choice. Using a wet batter will only result in sloppy bread. Suck it up, and follow the directions.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg and water. Combine the flour, baking powder, salt and pepper; whisk into the egg mixture until smooth. Put it in the refrigerator.
  3. Assemble sandwiches by placing  turkey on one slice of bread, ham on another, then the gruyere cheese in the middle (much easier than a Grilled Charlie). Cut sandwiches into quarters (to fit in the fryer… don’t be a hero), and secure with toothpicks (this is important).
  4. Dip each sandwich quarter in the batter so that all sides are coated. Deep fry until golden brown on all sides. Then do it again. And Again.
  5. Dust with confectioners’ sugar just before serving (It will likely get soggy if you don’t). Garnish with jam (I like strawberry) and a sprig of mint if you like the color.

The sandwiches will be very hot. As tempting as they look… please give them time to cool. Cool cool cool.

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Enjoy this triple fried sweet delight with the delightfully sweet sounds of Daybreak.

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Fresh-Baked Kringlors with a Honey Pecan Dipping Sauce | “The Ref”

by Blake Stilwell

There are many wonderful, renowned holiday movies out there. Everyone has their favorite. Some people grew up watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” every Christmas season. There are those who love the later classics, such as “A Christmas Story.” And a new generation is growing up loving more recent Christmas takes, like Will Ferrell’s “Elf.” For me, whenever someone talks about the perennial Christmas movie, “Die Hard” always comes to mind first. Not just because it is, in fact, a great Christmas movie (which is a post for another pop-culture themed blog), but my love for Reginald VelJohnson is well-documented.

Urkel killed this buddy cop dream team.

Urkel killed this buddy cop dream team.

Today, I’m taking a recipe from none of those, though I could really go for some Chinese food right now. No, this holiday, we’re taking a page from Judy Davis’ character Caroline Chasseur in the underrated 1994 Christmas comedy “The Ref,” with Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey and I was surprised to see John Scurti when I went back and watched it again for this post.

"Yeah, I know... It's weird to see me dressed as a cop."

“Yeah, I know… It’s weird to see me dressed as a cop.”

… some of you may better remember Scurti from his role as the beloved Lt. Shea on “Rescue Me.” Some others of you have seven seasons of great television to watch. Good thing binge watching on a snowy day is what the holiday season is all about nowadays. Go, loyal readers, and enjoy the butterscotch pudding that comes with it.

Doooooooo it.

Doooooooo it.

Denis Leary plays Gus, a burglar who has to lay low while he’s waiting for his partner to fix up an escape route away from the small New England town he just terrorized with break-ins. In order to dodge the road blocks and the local curfew, Gus takes the aforementioned Caroline and her husband Lloyd (Kevin Spacey) hostage in their home, but forces the family to play it cool while Caroline’s in-laws come over for Christmas dinner. The problem with the plan is that Gus has hijacked the most dysfunctional family in New England and is forced to rely on the discretion of his hostages and compliance of their a-hole relatives (including the mother-in-law, played beautifully by Glynis Johns), who find a lot of fault with Caroline’s flaws.

Everything almost reaches a breaking point at the Christmas dinner, which has a very Scandinavian theme (one of Caroline’s flaws is that she never finished anything she ever started, including a Scandinavian cooking class). The meal includes roast suckling pig, fresh baked Kringlors in a honey-pecan dipping sauce, seven-day old lutefisk, and lamb gookins.

The reason we’re making Kringlors today, despite the fact they sound more like an intergalactic space lord who is coming to enslave humanity than a baked treat, is because the holidays are the season of baked treats. Everyone has a different opinion on the main course at dinner, be it a ham, turkey or a giant fish stuffed with poison and left out for a week. Lamb Coozins Gookins seem to be so extremely rare, that even the Internet has never heard of them. What I think everyone can agree on, however, is that baked goods of all kinds are welcome at any holiday party anywhere and the more, the merrier. We know you’ll make room for the Kringlors in your pop culture buffet line.

Or you can jump a little forward in “The Ref” and see the Orange Marzipan Cake with Creme de Menthe and Lime Zest.

Kringlors are dessert in three parts. This recipe comes from “The Superbly Swedish Cookbook.”

Part I:
½ cup butter
1 cup flour
1 tablespoon water

Mix together (like pie crust) cutting the butter in with 2 butter knives.  Then finish mixing with your hands.  Pat out very thick (1/4”) on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Set aside.

Part II:
½ cup butter
1 cup water
1 cup flour
3 eggs beaten (see note on this)
1 teaspoon almond extract

In a saucepan heat butter and water to the boiling point.  Remove from heat, add flour and add 1 beaten egg at a time, stirring after each (The texture will be unique). Add almond extract and stir well.  Spread the mixture on the dough on cookie sheet, fairly close to the edges.  Bake at 400° for 45 minutes.

Part III:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Mix together all ingredients until smooth, and spread on pastry as icing.  Serve warm or cold, cutting in half the long way and then diagonally to make pretty strips. In the film, Caroline made them into pretzel shapes, which is my personal specialty, having worked two summers at Auntie Anne’s Pretzels as a teenager.

Pictured: Expertise

Pictured: Expertise

The Honey-Pecan Sauce is much easier to make, and where better to get the recipe than the American National Honey Board?

Ingredients:

  • 1-1/2 cups – vanilla flavored Greek style yogurt
  • 1/4 cup – chopped pecans, lightly toasted
  • 1/2 cup – Sage honey
  • 1 teaspoon – ground cinnamon

Directions:

Combine all sauce ingredients in a blender or processor and blend until smooth. Reserve chilled. Also, I recommend real honey, and maybe throw in some of the almond extract for a nuttier flavor.

And now you can have something to talk about at the family holiday party, where most of us end up looking somewhat frazzled if we don’t.

Kringlors - The Ref_1

“Everybody… just… stop talking. STOP. TALKING. TO ME.”

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Creamed Chipped Beef | “Band of Brothers”

by Blake Stilwell

There’s a new thing happening here in the nation’s capital: Sequester. Some people don’t know what it is, others don’t know what it means. I’m not even really sure. But if the national and international news media are to believed, we’re surely headed for economic calamity. In honor of our upcoming fiscal doom and/or gloom, I’m going  to make the (in)famous Depression Era favorite and American Midwest staple dish, Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast. Or as Easy Company, 506th Infantry Regiment called it:

SOS, S**t on a Shingle.

That's the line for the bathroom.

That’s the line for the latrine.

If you haven’t read this book (you should), you may have seen the HBO Miniseries produced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. It also starred Damian Lewis, who is now on Showtime’s Homeland, Ron Livingston from Office Space, and even had David Schwimmer, who will always be Ross from Friends whether he wants to be or notThe men of Easy Company were all also real people and the incredibly astonishing things they did to change the history of the world in the book and on the show REALLY HAPPENED.

There’s a reason they’re legendary.

"Sir, did you know one of the guys from New Kids on the Block got the role of Sgt. Lipton? I didn't see that coming."

“Sir, did you know one of the guys from New Kids on the Block got the role of Sgt. Lipton? I didn’t see that coming.”

The US Armed Forces didn’t make it easier on these poor guys either, because Creamed Chipped Beef also really happened. The guys who bravely captured fortress Europe and liberated everything in their way were probably forced to eat it on more than one occasion. In his book, Stephen Ambrose mentions its consumption while Easy Company is still Stateside:

BOB Text

There’s a definitive reason it was the Army’s favorite meal for deployed troops. If a seasoned grocery shopper were to read the ingredients list, the reason would soon become apparent. Take  look at this page from the 1945 Manual for Navy Cooks:

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Everything on it is either really cheap or leftover from another meal! I don’t blame the military, it’s a cheap way to give troops a hot meal. As a veteran myself, I can testify that a hot meal at a chow hall is sometimes the only comfort you can get out there. I can also attest to the fact that the military STILL SERVES THIS. They just replace the dried chipped beef with ground hamburger or sausage (they try to assure everyone it’s like a sausage gravy, but it isn’t. It really is not). Thanks, Obama.

On to the recipe: It calls for 1 3/4 Gallon of dried chipped beef, 5 gallons of milk, 1 quart of fat (animal unimportant), 2 1/2 quarts of flour, 1 3/4 tablespoon of pepper, and 100 slices of toasted bread. If you’re not having a hundred 90 year old World War II veterans over for dinner later (though we all probably should be every night), you can break it down like this:

3 c Dried, Chipped Beef (this will be found in the lunchmeat section, next to bologna, where it belongs)

7 1/2 c Milk (Lactaid will work for this)

1/3 c Fat (animal still unimportant, but I recommend bacon. I always recommend bacon)

1 c Flour

1/2 tsp Pepper (or just pepper to taste, rationing is over. We won the war, after all)

Disclaimer: This is going to taste bland at first, but I really recommend you wait until the dish is cooked before adding extra salt. The beef is salty and so might the fat be (especially if you used bacon fat), so adding extra salt during prep might make this dish awful in an unexpected way.

Yes, a different kind of awful.

Yes, a different kind of awful.

First, chop the beef. Then melt the fat and mix with flour until it forms a smooth paste, almost like a roux. Bring the milk to a boil and reduce heat to medium. Add the fat flour, and stir til it thickens, then add the chopped beef and pepper and stir well. Simmer for ten minutes and serve over your shingles (toast).

Be warned: adding flour directly to the milk, instead of making the fat roux will result in lumpy, horribly thick cream that even a blender can’t help you fix. Be sure to follow orders on this one. It will ruin the texture of the whole meal. Speaking of texture, be sure to start eating once it’s on the toast. Nothing gets mushy quite as fast as toasted white bread.

My SOS

My SOS

 Now it’s confession time. My mama used to make this for us all the time when my siblings and I were growing up. This dish is in entrenched in my heart. The smell of it makes me homesick (it has a very unique smell) and I will always love the taste of it because it is a piece of home. I was horrified and disappointed to see the Army Chow Hall use ground beef and/or sausage in it, but not surprised. Any one can make this. It’s a fairly simple white sauce with a salty beef twist.

The best part is if no one likes it, or you mess it up (which is still possible) it only cost you ten dollars or so to make,which is a price to be appreciated by any furloughed federal employee, not just the retired federal employees who fought the Nazis.

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